I am Brazilian by ethnicity and grew up in the 80’s. With that being said, lace, oversized ruffles, velcro pants, multitude of tye-die and high top sneakers was about the bulk of my closet growing up. Throw in a hippy phase, a goth phase, and a I give up phase but still want to look cool and wear JNCO jeans phase and that’s about a full description of my teenage years #smh.
Entering the military only increased my sense of trying to figure it out because it was almost as if though I was afraid to come off as feminine. The labels associated with being a female Marine was already difficult enough to overcome, let alone if you presented yourself as an actual woman. So for about 5 years I wore nothing but severally oversized shorts and band shirts to tone down the female. As I transitioned out of the Marine Corps the first time around, I moved to Huntington Beach, CA and for the first time had girlfriends. It was a mixture of beachy blondes and club Barbie’s so naturally I started to tap into my X chromosome and discovered my girlie side.
Then motherhood kicked in and I became definitely the cliché sweats kinda mom. I mean I was making babies and nursing for 6 years straight so felt like I never had the time to dress up. It was up in the morning for work, wear a camouflage uniform all day long, come home in sweats. That was it. Then I woke up one morning and looked at myself in the mirror and literally said out loud “What the f*** happened?” I didn’t like what I saw from head to toe. My hair was constantly falling out and lost all its curls (thanks Marine Corps Bun), my skin made me feel like I gained 20 years of stress, I discovered after baby #3 that I was suffering from diastasis recti so didn’t fit into most clothes that I did have and didn’t have a clue on what to do about it. It depressed me. Made me feel very uncomfortable in my own skin to the point where it made me even self conscious around my own husband because I didn’t know what he saw in me. I didn’t feel attractive at all and one day walking down an isle with my oldest daughter, she asked me what all of these make up items and hair products were and I literally had no idea. Her fascination intrigued me because she is naturally so girly and then she tops it off with, “Mommy, you need to wear more dresses.” That was it. Out with Frumps McGee. I decided that I needed to invest in myself more and work on being a woman again. Life gets you caught up on the grind sometimes and as a part of wellness being secure, confident and happy in my own skin has been the new mission.
I love all things beach, flowy, and neutral. However, dont get it twisted, Active Wear is and will forever be my jam so lets not get too crazy, ahahha.
Join me as I get my Blue Steel look working. ::Snap Snap::